WISE Philosophy - RSS http://wisephilosophy.ca/en/rss Tue, 26 Jan 2021 12:54:06 +0000 Joomla! - Open Source Content Management en-gb clare@wisephilosophy.ca (WISE Philosophy) What is the source of the pain we numb & avoid with food? http://wisephilosophy.ca/en/rss/133-what-is-the-source-of-the-pain-we-numb-avoid-with-food http://wisephilosophy.ca/en/rss/133-what-is-the-source-of-the-pain-we-numb-avoid-with-food Hands holding junk foodEven before we’re born, we are part of a complex, ever-changing organism: our family. Either through their presence or absence, they play a significant role in who we are and how we make our way in the world.

Most parents do the best they can but regardless, many of us are nursing a lot of unhealed hurts. One of the most important milestones in a WISE group is an exercise in which participants look back at their childhood and its influence on their lives today:

Catherine is a 50 year old financial analyst of European descent. She has twin boys, 18 years old, and has been married for 20 years.

My mom is a very proud woman who was a homemaker but also worked as a secretary for my dad’s business (logistics company). She had definite ideas about what foods you should and shouldn’t eat, or mix together, as well as their supposed health benefits and I grew up with some peculiar food preferences. She didn’t yell at us or overtly criticize us but I always felt I wasn’t living up to her expectations…I think it was tied to the fact that she was not very affectionate and didn’t talk (or encourage talk) about feelings and emotions. I remember when my grandmother died, she didn’t shed a tear. But a week later I found her crying and it struck me because I had never seen my mother cry. She died three years ago from kidney failure.

clare@wisephilosophy.ca (Clare Lord) After Hours Club Blog Fri, 15 Nov 2013 15:36:30 +0000
Why do we cling to these Diet Head beliefs? http://wisephilosophy.ca/en/rss/98-why-do-we-cling-to-these-diet-head-beliefs http://wisephilosophy.ca/en/rss/98-why-do-we-cling-to-these-diet-head-beliefs Geting away from diet head mentality - Group of women discussIn our last exciting episode, we talked about the dangers of a Diet Head mentality, these ideas that we stubbornly cling to even though giving food this kind of power is usually not in our best interest.

We are continuing the conversation by listening in on why the WISE Women are finding it difficult to let go of these long-held beliefs:

Jessica: I weigh myself often because I am convinced that it keeps me on track about what I’m doing right and what I’m doing wrong. The problem is that I use a higher number to beat myself up about my lack of willpower when it comes to exercise and eating and when it’s lower, it’s never low enough and I tell myself I should have tried harder. It’s totally nuts.

Courtney: For me, it’s comparing myself to others. Am I still the biggest in the room? When will I look like her? I do this because I think it motivates me. But usually, it just makes me feel bad about myself but I just can’t stop doing it.

Facilitator: Since you recognize that it’s not actually helping you, why do you think you are continuing to do so? What’s the payoff?

info@meldiscepola.codes (Super User) After Hours Club Blog Fri, 18 Oct 2013 18:52:35 +0000
The Diet Head Statements I Struggle the Most With… http://wisephilosophy.ca/en/rss/90-the-diet-head-statements-i-struggle-the-most-with http://wisephilosophy.ca/en/rss/90-the-diet-head-statements-i-struggle-the-most-with Diet head statements I struggle-withBecoming WISE about our emotional eating means moving to a focus on well-being from an obsession on weight loss. This is only possible if we stop thinking with our Diet Head and let go of the damaging emotional FAT (feelings, actions & thoughts) that keep us stuck in old patterns. (See “Are you thinking with your Diet Head ” in our Take-Out Menu/Eating section for more information).

Here is what the WISE women had to say on this topic:

Mary Julia…I compare myself to others because it makes me think that if others can lose weight and be slim, why can’t I?

Alexandra…I have always been competitive. I always had to be the best. Now I just give up because I can’t be the best.

Joanna…I eat in secret because it feels good. No one can comment on my eating and I can zone out. This is a big one for me…I love eating alone with a book or the TV.

info@meldiscepola.codes (Super User) After Hours Club Blog Fri, 20 Sep 2013 20:01:41 +0000
This Week's Theme: I am overweight because…. http://wisephilosophy.ca/en/rss/66-why-i-need-to-build-my-self-esteem-10 http://wisephilosophy.ca/en/rss/66-why-i-need-to-build-my-self-esteem-10 Group talkingVictoria: I thought this exercise was a bit silly at first. I mean, duh! I’m overweight because I eat too much! Because I finish my plate (and my kid’s plate) without thinking whether I’m hungry or not. Because food tastes really good and I like to cook. But because I needed at least ten answers, it started to get a bit interesting. My last two answers were: “I’m frustrated” and “I’m empty inside and need to fill the hole.”

Digging deeper, I asked myself: “I’m empty inside and need to fill the hole because...” My answers made me so sad: 

  • I don’t have enough satisfaction in my life.
  • No one pats me on the head and says “good job”.
  • It allows me to deny what is really happening in my life.
  • Food is more attractive than the other things I should/could be doing.
  • I am looking for something and I’m not sure what it is.

Kim: I am overweight because I feel unworthy. Food provides easy comfort, and conversely being overweight reinforces the feeling of remaining unworthy.

info@meldiscepola.codes (Super User) After Hours Club Blog Wed, 24 Jul 2013 16:45:32 +0000