At first I refused to accept the idea that I allowed myself to be treated badly because I was getting something out of it. In fact, I argued this at length with the Facilitator. Later I went home and thought about it and started to jot some ideas down. Who knew??? I actually have 10 reasons I do this! What an eye-opener.
- I can remain the perpetual victim (I have a hard time accepting this idea, because I don’t like feeling weak and out of control)
- I get to avoid change
- I can avoid being happy
- I too can be as abusive and critical on myself
- It reaffirms the notion that I am not good enough and so reinforces my low self-esteem
- It feels normal
- It is easier than dealing with the problem
- It validates my belief that I don’t deserve better
- It solidifies my need for approval and connection
- It is even more painful to change
When I finished my list, I realized that each statement falls into one of two categories: low self-esteem or the fear of change (at least I know and recognize this mind set). For the first time in my life, I not only had an answer but a direction out: time to re-read those sections on self-esteem and how to navigate change!